six years old
your little angel
with four good friends
three play dates a month
six candles on your cake
six hugs a day
five smiles a minute
two favorite toys
one best friend a day
zero favorite vegetables
six favorite candies
two loving parents
six bursts of laughter
one day disaster hits your home
four days later you're gone
six years old
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Holmes
People are wrong to dismiss pop.
Not saying it's all one needs.
But watch a crappy movie. See
what resonates. Then figure out
why that is. Not all of it to like.
Not saying it's all one needs.
But watch a crappy movie. See
what resonates. Then figure out
why that is. Not all of it to like.
I’ll go back in time
If you ask me to
Balance over
Spider web stories
Over-talk this
Private life
And then what
Will be left?
---
Anyone Could Be A Killer In A Car
This is my most announced thought
Life as dying
Or life as
Loving
Or life as just
Speeding, slowing and
Carrying through.
---
I tell everybody I’ve moved
‘back to where I’m from’
La Esquina, I say
Though I never think of it
That way
If you ask me to
Balance over
Spider web stories
Over-talk this
Private life
And then what
Will be left?
---
Anyone Could Be A Killer In A Car
This is my most announced thought
Life as dying
Or life as
Loving
Or life as just
Speeding, slowing and
Carrying through.
---
I tell everybody I’ve moved
‘back to where I’m from’
La Esquina, I say
Though I never think of it
That way
Saturday, January 16, 2010
TWENTY-SEVEN
I went and walked where I had gone
many times before, to round the park's perimeter
and get some thinking done. Without thinking
where it led, I took the path along the stream
and came to stand between two young, denuded trees.
The trees stood for two people, brother and sister,
who both had died before they completed
their second year. Stella to the left,
Noah to the right, the stream behind me,
babbling its ceaseless baby talk, my walk
came abruptly to a halt. The stream
is ceaseless, the dream is endless, our thoughts
deceive us, our friends defend us, our hearts
depend on the ceaseless belief, the season
of grief is upon us, and friends
have no say in the way this messiness ends.
many times before, to round the park's perimeter
and get some thinking done. Without thinking
where it led, I took the path along the stream
and came to stand between two young, denuded trees.
The trees stood for two people, brother and sister,
who both had died before they completed
their second year. Stella to the left,
Noah to the right, the stream behind me,
babbling its ceaseless baby talk, my walk
came abruptly to a halt. The stream
is ceaseless, the dream is endless, our thoughts
deceive us, our friends defend us, our hearts
depend on the ceaseless belief, the season
of grief is upon us, and friends
have no say in the way this messiness ends.
The day's deeds weighed heavy on his entrails
today everything mattered, somehow,
now you can barely roll over,
hating your burred, glutinous,
important belly.
":"
the daily dids ache
But eyes roll up to the glass:
the smug, doomed mustache
suggests, with a twitch,
digestion.
now you can barely roll over,
hating your burred, glutinous,
important belly.
":"
the daily dids ache
But eyes roll up to the glass:
the smug, doomed mustache
suggests, with a twitch,
digestion.
light.
they said it was light, light for
a coffin, light in the world
gone out gone out
but for me it was heavy
for me, I sat beside it
frankly for me it was a splinter
deep down inside like a lake
about to swallow
me
and if it was one day, it was
three
sleep they say did not come
to me
and when the ground began
to cough and wheeze, I wrote
it off - they said it was light
so when I found it open
I was too stammering drunk to see
the gardener came and
sat beside me
I said that they had stolen my light
the very bones of it
"Mary," he said
"dear Mary-" he said, and smiled
splinter turned boat
seed broken
seed in dark
seed watered by my tears
"Mary," he said
and he was my light.
a coffin, light in the world
gone out gone out
but for me it was heavy
for me, I sat beside it
frankly for me it was a splinter
deep down inside like a lake
about to swallow
me
and if it was one day, it was
three
sleep they say did not come
to me
and when the ground began
to cough and wheeze, I wrote
it off - they said it was light
so when I found it open
I was too stammering drunk to see
the gardener came and
sat beside me
I said that they had stolen my light
the very bones of it
"Mary," he said
"dear Mary-" he said, and smiled
splinter turned boat
seed broken
seed in dark
seed watered by my tears
"Mary," he said
and he was my light.
barbecue
The soup was a disaster
seeming holy, misleading
always flavor escaping
I put on a blanket and
snuck past some beautiful girls.
I had to get away.
Outside was like living in a wet dog.
Already two imaginary fights
and a third one on the way.
How I shivered! The blanket was shaped like a man
How did they end up on my patio?
My patio is everything broken.
Someone screamed; a splinter
sympathy everywhere, automatic.
Splinters hurt. What should I have done?
seeming holy, misleading
always flavor escaping
I put on a blanket and
snuck past some beautiful girls.
I had to get away.
Outside was like living in a wet dog.
Already two imaginary fights
and a third one on the way.
How I shivered! The blanket was shaped like a man
How did they end up on my patio?
My patio is everything broken.
Someone screamed; a splinter
sympathy everywhere, automatic.
Splinters hurt. What should I have done?
Nineteen
The holiday itself I don't remember
Smoked into gray dreams like much of that year
but the day after New Year's
I jumped out of my friend's car,
without saying goodbye,
forgetting a green glass bubbler and a silver feather necklace
underneath the passenger seat.
I dashed down the block just in time to catch the late Chinatown bus
from Philly to New York City
I arrived in the darkness
and I stumbled off the bus
into several boxes overflowing with unpronounceable vegetables
Sam was waiting there
in a heavy suede coat
He went with me back to Matt's parents' brownstone
where shimmering white wine
and baked chicken
and crunchy cauliflower
and every man I had ever been in love with
were all waiting for me.
It was an exercise in awkwardness
like much of that year.
We got drunk
We probably ate too quickly
and left the house again
to go, I don't know where.
Where does a group of drunk, awkward nineteen year olds go
on a freezing January night in Manhattan?
The rest of the evening hazes back into a gray smoke
the tall, sad trees of the dark park,
a long subway ride where no one touched
as much as they wanted to
a train flying off into the starry sky,
and the incriminating evidence,
an abandoned apple
still sitting on the roof.
Smoked into gray dreams like much of that year
but the day after New Year's
I jumped out of my friend's car,
without saying goodbye,
forgetting a green glass bubbler and a silver feather necklace
underneath the passenger seat.
I dashed down the block just in time to catch the late Chinatown bus
from Philly to New York City
I arrived in the darkness
and I stumbled off the bus
into several boxes overflowing with unpronounceable vegetables
Sam was waiting there
in a heavy suede coat
He went with me back to Matt's parents' brownstone
where shimmering white wine
and baked chicken
and crunchy cauliflower
and every man I had ever been in love with
were all waiting for me.
It was an exercise in awkwardness
like much of that year.
We got drunk
We probably ate too quickly
and left the house again
to go, I don't know where.
Where does a group of drunk, awkward nineteen year olds go
on a freezing January night in Manhattan?
The rest of the evening hazes back into a gray smoke
the tall, sad trees of the dark park,
a long subway ride where no one touched
as much as they wanted to
a train flying off into the starry sky,
and the incriminating evidence,
an abandoned apple
still sitting on the roof.
Day 16
we have a strange way of turning everything to noise,
evolution continues to compound accidental sound,
that ringing in your ears is not too much coffee,
it is the distortion of a new age.
evolution continues to compound accidental sound,
that ringing in your ears is not too much coffee,
it is the distortion of a new age.
fink
we went swimming
i was so wet!
and tried to stay afloat
here, the beach with no lifeguard
the frozen pond, nobody watching
be careful even don't go there
anna drowned this summer
!!!and it was so weird because i saw her just two days before not knowing it would be the last time!
why so scarye the undertow?
shouldn't you just be able to float?
on your back—
else turn over and kiss
the mirror narcissus
the gulping down
the self wobble
the algae friends
the green sheen
coral in your hair
your friend will never see
a deep sea diver we all miss you
there is a face in the mirror—
who's that?
i was so wet!
and tried to stay afloat
here, the beach with no lifeguard
the frozen pond, nobody watching
be careful even don't go there
anna drowned this summer
!!!and it was so weird because i saw her just two days before not knowing it would be the last time!
why so scarye the undertow?
shouldn't you just be able to float?
on your back—
else turn over and kiss
the mirror narcissus
the gulping down
the self wobble
the algae friends
the green sheen
coral in your hair
your friend will never see
a deep sea diver we all miss you
there is a face in the mirror—
who's that?
lets do it again
the angry unfulfilled
and still-wanderers
lets do it
lets do it
lets do it again
tonights the night
lets live it up!
we'll buy fancy groceries
cook them in your oven
tell secrets sort of naked
teach me to waltz (MOVE)
like o, my god (LIKE O MY GOD)
i feel stressed out (STRESSED)
i wanna let it out (RELEASE)
i wanna dance (MOVE)
i wanna biological weapon
biological imperative (YEA)
fill up my cup (BABE)
membranes of life (LOVE)
wet my face
lock it down
light the candles
& then lets do it again
the angry unfulfilled
and still-wanderers
lets do it
lets do it
lets do it again
tonights the night
lets live it up!
we'll buy fancy groceries
cook them in your oven
tell secrets sort of naked
teach me to waltz (MOVE)
like o, my god (LIKE O MY GOD)
i feel stressed out (STRESSED)
i wanna let it out (RELEASE)
i wanna dance (MOVE)
i wanna biological weapon
biological imperative (YEA)
fill up my cup (BABE)
membranes of life (LOVE)
wet my face
lock it down
light the candles
& then lets do it again
o pup~~
o you in the kitchen,
'meet my parents dog'
i asked how come she's not yours anymore?
12 years old
and still look like a puppy—
but little pearls of raised flesh,
what are these bumps and you said
'she has lots of them, all over—its funny'
huge big eyes o dog
no one knows you have cancer
and i'm so sorry
'meet my parents dog'
i asked how come she's not yours anymore?
12 years old
and still look like a puppy—
but little pearls of raised flesh,
what are these bumps and you said
'she has lots of them, all over—its funny'
huge big eyes o dog
no one knows you have cancer
and i'm so sorry
the teacher
there's a story of a woman
a teacher i was told
she lived down south in Georgia
teaching science to the high school crowd
why would you teach teenagers when you are deformed?
they do the same impressions of her
as they contour their face
the right side of their mouths lifts up,
their noses scrunch and their eyes squint,
they slur their speech and spray saliva as they go
it's hard to have the classroom under control when they say she's a freak
she's grotesque i was told
one year she transferred schools and never taught again
they found her body with a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the face
the moral of the story: be nice to your teachers, no one else is.
a teacher i was told
she lived down south in Georgia
teaching science to the high school crowd
why would you teach teenagers when you are deformed?
they do the same impressions of her
as they contour their face
the right side of their mouths lifts up,
their noses scrunch and their eyes squint,
they slur their speech and spray saliva as they go
it's hard to have the classroom under control when they say she's a freak
she's grotesque i was told
one year she transferred schools and never taught again
they found her body with a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the face
the moral of the story: be nice to your teachers, no one else is.
everyones undressing
kiss and question
kss and shout
kitchen kids lets cake out
fuck bunny you awful food
you are awful food
and bunny you are so stupid
im with my friend rian he drinks beer
Ahoy me mateysSail to seaA friend of HadesA friend of me.Ahoy me mateysPass the grog You dance like a ladyAnd eat like a hog.Ahoy me mateysThar she blowsLets go see a movieIn the theater of Lows.Ahoy me mateyspirates are coolslap me rear endand eat up me gruelA pegs me legA patchs me eyeAnd if y’insult... me cookingYe will surely dieAYE!
Now let me tell ye a story...
In the inn of the salty dog
I had just checked in
I ordered a mug o’ grog
I listened to a man fidlin’
But as the night went on
And the sky grew black
In the shifting shadows
Was a black cat!
A CAT WITH EYES O’ HELL!
Flaming in the nightlike twin devils
Flickerin’ in the pale moonlight.
The eyes were red
As blood ‘n fire
I felt half dead
The situation dire
I ran from the inn
And tripped in the rain
Cursed the cat of sin
My mind raced, insane
And there was the cat
But I saw him not
I saw only his eyes as they consumed me
kss and shout
kitchen kids lets cake out
fuck bunny you awful food
you are awful food
and bunny you are so stupid
im with my friend rian he drinks beer
Ahoy me mateysSail to seaA friend of HadesA friend of me.Ahoy me mateysPass the grog You dance like a ladyAnd eat like a hog.Ahoy me mateysThar she blowsLets go see a movieIn the theater of Lows.Ahoy me mateyspirates are coolslap me rear endand eat up me gruelA pegs me legA patchs me eyeAnd if y’insult... me cookingYe will surely dieAYE!
Now let me tell ye a story...
In the inn of the salty dog
I had just checked in
I ordered a mug o’ grog
I listened to a man fidlin’
But as the night went on
And the sky grew black
In the shifting shadows
Was a black cat!
A CAT WITH EYES O’ HELL!
Flaming in the nightlike twin devils
Flickerin’ in the pale moonlight.
The eyes were red
As blood ‘n fire
I felt half dead
The situation dire
I ran from the inn
And tripped in the rain
Cursed the cat of sin
My mind raced, insane
And there was the cat
But I saw him not
I saw only his eyes as they consumed me
Sleep
Shortness of breath
Acute pain
Shoulder
Arm
Blue sky not quite right
Standing in Port
Struggling to comprehend
Bands of marauders
Night time, fires
Blood reaches to places long lost forgotten
Shifting to emergency mode
Reaching depths of compassion long lost
Just as I loose consciousness to the pain
Above me brilliant distant universe
I grasp a handful of the earth shattered but constant
Cries all around me
Settling into such peaceful sleep
Acute pain
Shoulder
Arm
Blue sky not quite right
Standing in Port
Struggling to comprehend
Bands of marauders
Night time, fires
Blood reaches to places long lost forgotten
Shifting to emergency mode
Reaching depths of compassion long lost
Just as I loose consciousness to the pain
Above me brilliant distant universe
I grasp a handful of the earth shattered but constant
Cries all around me
Settling into such peaceful sleep
No you
There is something between
that makes me.
If it's not there
then I am not.
If I can see it then something happens.
that makes me.
If it's not there
then I am not.
If I can see it then something happens.
A Start
If we could just start small,
I say, let it.
Forget the worn hemlines and wearing seams.
Start with sewing back the buttons.
I remember how we circled the playground,
Picking pennies from the sand and filling our pockets.
We’d empty them out in our sandbox at home,
Make copper castles. Whistle through the holes in our mouths.
I regret I never wrote it down,
the morning I woke up with the perfect line,
a minor melody that was sad but mostly sweet,
and so much older than me.
All I want is to finally get it right.
To land the arrow in the deep red heart of the center.
To watch it stay.
To leave and not know and not know at all
If it falls when I go.
Friday, January 15, 2010
silly
person
pazy crerson
comic clown comedian
sans overcoat
thou lovest a good show
a good show shall I give
a good showing
old
chap
if thou wilst crack
a wild smile, tilt thy head
a wild while
I'll while away
thy smooth denial
tip tap
rattattat-tat
tumble bumble
feel and fumble
mix and mingle
jaw and jingle
step up step up
you're all a-tingle!
silly
person
pazy crerson
comic clown comedian
sans overcoat
thou lovest a good show
a good show shall I give
a good showing
old
chap
pazy crerson
comic clown comedian
sans overcoat
thou lovest a good show
a good show shall I give
a good showing
old
chap
if thou wilst crack
a wild smile, tilt thy head
a wild while
I'll while away
thy smooth denial
tip tap
rattattat-tat
tumble bumble
feel and fumble
mix and mingle
jaw and jingle
step up step up
you're all a-tingle!
silly
person
pazy crerson
comic clown comedian
sans overcoat
thou lovest a good show
a good show shall I give
a good showing
old
chap
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