the little one on the corner

i wandered around aimlessly
no list, nothing at home
that looks good
oh that too
probably don't need it
i would never buy this in Bushwick
my basket is full
ringing it up
quickly but still so slowly
more and more lined up behind me
i grew nervous
the man behind piled up his five little items next to all of mine
i worried they'd get mixed with my fancy cheeses
and peach mango salsa
and 2 for $5 pita chips
only one register open
i felt their glaring eyes on the back of my head
$97.34 he announced
i never felt so naked before
so this is what Manhattan's like

one left

one day left
one night left
walls are blank
the floor is swept
bags are packed
nothing to eat
half a gulp of whiskey
a bottle of cough syrup
a can of sardines
i packed my dishes anyway
the bed was empty but
last night you came crawling back
a phone call
remember me? how you doing? we should talk
you think you want me now
cause i have blue eyes and a nice rack
but you don't realize
one day it won't matter anymore
i'll scare you away
and you won't come back

friday night

the funniest thing that happened all night was when Omar was waddling around the room his jaw hanging down and then took a seat to talk to the dog
then Jordan was yelling and hitting things in a heated discussion with himself
Kent held his stomach in pain as we laughed
i slid onto the floor in giggles and tears when the door bell rang
Jordan ran over to answer it but slipped on my shoe and fell down
three more walked in and Bruce yelled what the hell are you doing on the floor
a few minutes passed when Jason lost his balance and tumbled backwards towards the crowd but caught himself on Lia's crouch and regained his footing with the ground
when it rains it pours
Mandy told me
if only they could see us now.

baby boy

Daddy reports baby's got stats
Sex: Male
Gestation: 39 weeks
Labor: 3.5 hrs
Born: 5:23 PM--January 22, 2010
Weight: 7.12 lbs.
Height: 20 Inches
Nurses whispered that baby has jaundice
Doc says stick it in the sun
No big deal.

test days is the best days

i read the directions miss
i checked my answers
oh ok
wait no you didn't and you sealed your test booklet inside
and left 20 answer spaces blank
did you read the directions
no i didn't read the directions
carefully open it up without tearing it
this is so illegal
lucky you filled in those answers
39 is passing

this test was easier
that's good
you still failed

why are you taking this test high
you reek of marijuana
and it's not the first time
you got a 3
if you weren't stoned do you think you would've got a 4

i read your essay about public parks
you said the city is a nice big city because it's nice and big
and then you said some things that weren't so redundant
and you nailed the task and scored a 5

this is too hard
i can't do it
i don't get it
this is why you need to start coming to school
i'll do better next time miss
you don't want to take a 6 hour test again
do well the first time
if home life is so bad then school should be your sanctuary
i know you don't want to hear it but you need to be here
miss i didn't say i didn't want to hear it

Words to Describe David M.

Crafty
Calculating
Conniving
Controlling
David in four words

Devious
Devilish
Scheming
Sly
Sneaky
David in five words

Manipulative
Manipulator
Manipulating
You in one word.

incomplete

i think i got distracted
by what i'm not sure
due dates
tiredness
sexiness
inappropriateness
drunkeness
all of the above

4 dates

time flies when you got too many boys
houston date
teacher date
internet date #1
internet date #2
can't pick one
maybe i just shouldn't date

moving day approaches

25 months at 946
egg shell beige walls, the red trim and turquoise doors we painted ourselves
wooden floors that never seemed clean enough
the occasional whiff of cat pee
"Goddamn it Ritchie!" on the other side of the wall
that was the home i loved and missed

3 months at 1345
the tiny counters, linoleum floors and cabinets that are made for my 6'5 lover
the bathroom not big enough for the litter box
and the heat that does not seem to work
the kids who climb up the side of the building to peek in my window
the teens who creep onto my porch to smoke grass
this is not my home

it feels like i never really unpacked
yet here i am packing it all up

265
my future home
new borough
new life
cozy couch
i think i'll like it here

choices

they say that i am but i'm not
so many suitors but not
there's only one that i want

i had a dream last night
i saw a man approaching school
immediately knew he was a murdering pedophile
i saw him coming across the yard
all i could do was yell,
"pedophile pedophile pedophile pedophile"
at first no one listened
but as i sped across the grass they turned and followed
i tried to get to the door before him
he beat me inside without breaking his slow stride
i went in after him and attacked him
more joined in
we might've killed him
but then i woke up.

one

we are of the same mind
it was that good
it is clear as mom's best Swarovski why
the sparkling, glittering stars
the burning sign of fire
a breadth of knowledge, intellect
a flurry of stimulus
wild, lusty, totally fantastic
eternal optimists
philosophical, social
head over hearts
giggles in between
passionate, super, normal and natural
sensations like never before
pleasing beyond expectations
plethora of surprises
told it would be dangerous
never mentioned euphoric
should have been forewarned

J.S.

i wasn't expecting an apology
i wasn't expecting a hug
what a surprise
when you leaned on me
when we linked arms
when you held my hand
i gotta tell ya
i wasn't expecting much.

after scent

i can still smell you on my sheets
i should wash them after what we did
but then you'd be gone
and who knows when i'll see you again
so instead i'll press my nose against the cotton
close my eyes and inhale
and pretend you're still right here next to me.

just 6

six years old
your little angel
with four good friends
three play dates a month
six candles on your cake
six hugs a day
five smiles a minute
two favorite toys
one best friend a day
zero favorite vegetables
six favorite candies
two loving parents
six bursts of laughter
one day disaster hits your home
four days later you're gone
six years old

the teacher

there's a story of a woman
a teacher i was told
she lived down south in Georgia
teaching science to the high school crowd
why would you teach teenagers when you are deformed?
they do the same impressions of her
as they contour their face
the right side of their mouths lifts up,
their noses scrunch and their eyes squint,
they slur their speech and spray saliva as they go
it's hard to have the classroom under control when they say she's a freak
she's grotesque i was told
one year she transferred schools and never taught again
they found her body with a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the face
the moral of the story: be nice to your teachers, no one else is.

One word ‘baby’ brings tears to my eyes
A knot in my stomach

date night

we ordered 2 beers and got to spin the wheel of doom
jello shots, spicy shots and irish car bombs galore
then we had a hot dog
and the vendor told us all about the man who dropped his dog after ordering the works
as we walked away you fumbled yours and caught it on your arm
covering yourself in ketchup and mustard as i laughed so hard
payback came to me though as we walked to the train
i stepped in a crack in the sidewalk and went tumbling to the ground
i gathered up my dignity as we laughed some more
while a woman stood there staring at us looking completely abhorred
a hug and kiss goodnight
i rode the train alone
i couldn't keep myself from laughing
at the clumsiness we endured
intoxication reached its peak
when the pillow touched my head
awoken by the jingle of the message you had sent
wait, you had fun and you want to see me again???

01/13

day 13 was tiring
no sweet treat rewards
just messages from boys
trying to seduce me
but i fell asleep
cause i was bored

01/12

they call me the miracle worker
because i have patience
i am rewarded with chunks of butterfinger bars
patience is delicious