wish you were here

so this is what life is now,

an endless array of phone calls
and email messages,
the occasional video chat,
a facebook comment
underneath a photo of you
in a silly hat

and the missing
of our arms entwined,
the unadulterated sound
of your laughter,
your voice,
unmarred by distance,
and the
leaping of my heart
at the pleasure of your nearness

(#13)

a red dress over a blue dress, sleeve lengths exact, worn to swim in a river.

a mountain straight up out of the water, weirdly small and round, a hump.

sunshine exactly enough to not exhaust, and crooked teeth.

(#14)

sparrow
mountain
labor day
crush

I’ll go back in time
If you ask me to
Balance over
Spider web stories
Over-talk this
Private life
And then what
Will be left?

---

Anyone Could Be A Killer In A Car

This is my most announced thought
Life as dying
Or life as
Loving
Or life as just
Speeding, slowing and
Carrying through.

---

I tell everybody I’ve moved
‘back to where I’m from’
La Esquina, I say
Though I never think of it
That way

01/13

day 13 was tiring
no sweet treat rewards
just messages from boys
trying to seduce me
but i fell asleep
cause i was bored

Stupid Alphabet

When literacy leapt into being
its alphabet all in a neat row
ONE
WORD
AFTER
ANOTHER
MARCHING
On
flat
horizontal
e v e r y l e t t e r
m
e
a
n
i

n
g
l

e
s

s


unto itself
a switch flipped
in the human brain
cultivating
linear thought (one word marching after another)
dialectic reasoning
it is THIS and it is NOT THAT
the logical
masculine
brain


Consider instead,
when you look at an image
and see everything all at once

swirling around in all directions
your brain connecting so much
in a single sweep of your eyes
Consider a picture

and all that it implies
the concrete moment
the holistic instant
the connected synapses of tiny glimpses synthesized into a whole

the feminine
multi-track
nurturing mind.



With our brains coded in the alphabet
from birth
and heavily trained in dialectic logic
is it any wonder that women
and holistic thought
are less respected
than the linear masculine?



It hurts my head to think about this too much.
I want to conceive of a feminine logic
but my brain
marches
in
straight
lines
and all my thoughts
are spelled out
in the alphabet.

Corrine

In your private life
you live far away
and stand close to other people.
You hold bags of things
wrapped in paper.
Those other people near you
might be nervous
or embarrassed to have their picture taken.
But not you.
Staring straight at the camera,
smiling hazy.
If their eyes are not looking along with you
it's because they are not fully realized
(not grown into their cardigans or panama hats),
do not yet fully realize they will want to remember,
even this moment-
fatigued, drifting, annoyed.

ELEVEN

When we caught a mouse
in the silverware drawer
we set it loose in the woods
and when our well ran dry
we put garbage cans under the gutters
because most things
unlike questions and numbers
don't come in an endless supply.
After baseball practice
over spaghetti and meat sauce at Greg's house
why did his parents have to yell,
"Clean your plate like Aaron, young man!"?
And when will it be over,
I thought, as I watched him
shove his little brother
storm into the kitchen
stalk down the hall
and slam the door to his room
while I silently counted past a million.

Hope Ahead, Finally!

Today is the worst day
of the rest of your life.